Practice · Length of therapy
When therapy drags on…
There is a paradoxical piece of common sense in therapeutic work: we know when therapy begins, but rarely when it should end. Some approaches are designed to last — psychoanalysis being the emblematic example. Others claim to be brief, geared to precise goals. And yet, even in those shorter forms, the work sometimes stretches out, carries on, thickens… occasionally to the point of losing sight of its own horizon.
This is no taboo: the length of a therapy is not determined solely by the patient’s difficulties or by the model being used. It is also shaped by the relational dynamic, that is, by what plays out between two people engaged in a work of transformation.
And sometimes, with no intention on either side, that dynamic can accidentally encourage… continuation.
Seven signs that a therapy may be running longer than necessary
In clinical practice, certain signals come up again and again. They are not criteria for judgement, but points of vigilance that invite us to adjust our stance, our methods and the quality of the bond.
1
The goals are vague or constantly deferred
With no clear course, therapy becomes a space of perpetual exploration. Useful at the start, risky when it continues without any structure.
2
No exit criteria have been defined
We enter… but we do not know on what basis we leave. Neither what will mark the end of the process, nor how that end will be named, ritualised, prepared.
3
Feeling better happens mainly in session
A frequent paradox: the session becomes a refuge, a space where one can breathe… but whose effects fade outside it.
4
Important decisions are put off “until I’ve seen my therapist”
The therapist becomes a third party required for action — sometimes to the point of preventing it. Autonomy stiffens instead of widening.
5
The fear of disappointing the therapist
When the relationship becomes asymmetrically oriented towards approval, the work loses its power. It is no longer “I am changing”, but “I am complying”.
6
A sudden widening of the issues just as things improve
Themes are added, the work is extended, new chapters are opened while the initial goals have already been reached.
7
Dreading the announcement that one wants to stop
The fear of hurting the other person, even when that person is a professional, is a valuable signal. It says something about the place the therapist takes within the system.
The systemic stake: thinking of the ending as a therapeutic act
One therapist asks, at the start of every piece of work, a question I find profoundly apt.
“How will we know that the road we have travelled together has come to its end?”
This question is not a formality. It is a way of placing autonomy at the heart of the process, from the very first meeting.
In systemic and strategic approaches, thinking about the “way out” is not a sign of disengagement: it is the recognition that the therapeutic relationship is a transitional space, not a permanent structure.
Naming the ending means opening a passage. It means telling the patient: “We are not building a place for you to live in, but a place from which you will be able to set off again.”
For therapists: a clinical and ethical responsibility
Unintentionally prolonging a therapy is not professional misconduct. But it is a systemic phenomenon to be taken seriously.
A therapy that drags on for no reason
Creates a subtle dependency, sustains relational dynamics that are reassuring but limiting, gives the therapist too central a role, and slows down — or even prevents — the resumption of initiative.
A therapy that ends at the right moment
Strengthens agency, the capacity to decide, self-confidence, emotional mastery, and awareness of one’s internal as well as external resources.
I take up this question of the right length in the video below — in French.
How to cite this article
Besse, J. (2025, November 23). When therapy drags on…. Complexe Systémique. https://app.complexe-systemique.com/en_GB/articles/when-therapy-drags-on
To go further
- 'Help me stay as I am!' The trap of the request in therapyFour types of request, including the one that asks for help in order to change nothing.
- The 6 mistakes that can harm our clients without our knowingThose unintended effects of our practice that training courses rarely mention.
- Supervision in systemic therapyThe space where a third party's gaze reopens what the therapeutic relationship had closed.
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