Family · Stepfamilies
Stepmother, stepfather, finding one’s place: easing family relationships — Ivy Daure
Family relationships are already a challenge; in stepfamilies, the stakes multiply. Being a step-parent or having stepchildren is not just a matter of patience and adjustment. It raises deep questions: how do you find your place in an existing dynamic? How do you navigate between some people’s expectations and others’ needs?
In a captivating interview, Ivy Daure, clinical psychologist and author of the book Belle-mère, beau-père. Trouver sa place (“Stepmother, stepfather. Finding one’s place”), shares essential keys to understanding and improving these complex relationships.
The challenges of stepfamilies
Relationships between step-parents and stepchildren, often marked by tension, are not condemned to negative stereotypes. As Ivy Daure points out, they call for awareness and a willingness to adjust on everyone’s part. Three issues come up in particular:
- The shadow of the ex-partner. This invisible yet very real presence can influence relationships, fuelling comparisons and loyalty conflicts.
- Educational and cultural differences. Each parent arrives with their own history and values, sometimes far apart: this can become a source of friction.
- Being accepted into a new family. Finding one’s place as a step-parent or as a child takes time and effort on both sides.
About Ivy Daure
Ivy Daure holds a doctorate in psychology and works as a clinical psychologist in private practice. She teaches at the University of Bordeaux and gives many lectures in France and internationally.
To learn more about these family dynamics and hear Ivy Daure’s advice, the full interview — in French — is below.
How to cite this article
Besse, J. (2024, November 17). Stepmother, stepfather, finding one's place: easing family relationships — Ivy Daure. Complexe Systémique. https://app.complexe-systemique.com/en_GB/articles/stepmother-stepfather-finding-one-s-place-easing-family-relationships-ivy-daure
To go further
- Therapist confidences: Ivy DaureThe Confidences de thérapeutes episode devoted to Ivy Daure's journey.
- The 7 fundamental needs of children when parents separateWhat children need when the parental couple separates, even before a new family forms.
- Family estrangement: understanding, preventing and repairing broken bondsWhen bonds fray within a family, there are ways to repair them.
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