Approach · Bond and relational worlds
The therapy of the bond and relational worlds explained simply
The TLMR is a psychotherapeutic model developed by Dr Eric Bardot. Faced in his clinical work with complex issues — trauma, severe attachment disorders, abuse, depression, parentification, personality disorders —, he explored many psychotherapeutic approaches and built bridges between them.
The influences
Among the influences of the TLMR, we find in particular:
- John Bowlby and attachment theory;
- Stephen Porges and polyvagal theory;
- Daniel Stern and affect attunement;
- Jacob Moreno and psychodrama;
- Milton Erickson and relationship-based hypnosis;
- Gregory Bateson and the Palo Alto school;
- Steve de Shazer and the solution-focused approach;
- Michael White and the narrative approaches;
- Francine Shapiro's EMDR, which brought eye movements — and alternating movements more generally — back into fashion;
- René Girard and mimetic desire;
- Vygotsky and the zone of proximal development;
- Viktor Frankl and Irvin Yalom, for existential therapy and the question of the meaning of life in therapy.
At the crossroads of existential, humanistic and systemic approaches, Eric Bardot had first called this practice HTSMA (hypnosis, strategic therapy, alternating movements). The approach then grew more complex, to the point of becoming a movement in its own right rather than a mere juxtaposition of techniques from different schools.
In the TLMR, the relationship is seen through a systemic lens: circular, and shaped by the influence of context.
What is a relational world?
In the name of this approach we hear the term "relational worlds". But what lies behind it?
“This original psychotherapeutic model rests on the strong idea that relationship structures living beings. The TLMR belongs to the Ericksonian tradition which, beyond techniques, takes a major interest in the relationship and in the therapeutic process.”
De l'HTSMA à la thérapie du lien et des mondes relationnels, p. 29
Our capacities for giving shape to bonds and relationships take part in the construction of our relational world. The latter is influenced by our life story and by the family, societal, cultural and spiritual context in which we evolve.
It organises the way we interpret the events of our life and the relationships we maintain with others. It is a way of picturing relationships as the fruit of the attunement of several constructions of the world, which fit and cohabit together more or less well.
So when two people meet — a couple, friends, colleagues, a therapist and their patient —, they bring their worlds into relation so as to form only one, at the crossing of their two.
These relational worlds are seen as living entities that build the history of humanity; they raise the question of transmission to future generations and of transgenerational issues.
The therapist's stance
The TLMR is a non-pathologising and non-normative approach, and the therapist embodies this philosophy.
Non-pathologising
The therapy does not respond to an international psychopathological classification or to symptoms, but to the relationship the patient maintains with them.
Non-normative
The aim of therapy is not to conform to a social norm, but to allow people to be the authors of their own lives.
The therapist puts their energy into allowing a relationship of trust to settle in, grounded in a secure experience. To do so, they adopt a decentred stance of not-knowing. They enter the patient's relational world — which carries potentially dysfunctional aspects — so that together, from the inside, patient and therapist transform the bonds that lock the person into their problem.
The TLMR is a non-protocol model, which makes it possible to adapt the therapy to the patient's relational world: the therapist co-constructs the therapeutic process with them, in the present of the session. They rely on the one hand on a way of questioning that mobilises the mimetic effect — entering the patient's world more easily, adapting to their imagination and communication style —, and on the other hand on an integrative approach with complementary tools (hypnosis, brief therapy, alternating movements) that ease the emergence of the patient's resources as well as the therapist's.
The TLMR calls on the creativity of both patient and therapist: together they define the most relevant way to co-construct a personalised therapeutic approach.
The fundamental questions
- What is a healthy, meaningful relational world?
- How can we dissociate the person from the dysfunctional troubles present in them, from the pathology?
- How are we going to build together, through language and questioning, a space-time in which two (or more) intentions can attune and meet?
From a securing relational experience, the person can commit to therapy, define their expectations and begin a process of externalisation through which they will be able to distinguish the problem occupying them from their identity. For this, certain conversational hypnosis techniques can notably be used.
The vision of therapy
In the TLMR there is the idea of giving people back power over their lives: taking a stand, getting back into movement, deploying their autonomy, both as actors and as authors of their existence.
In connection with its founder's personal story, the TLMR gives shape to a story of resilience, carried by this question: “How can we contribute to a healthy, meaningful relational world?”
Bibliography
De l'HTSMA à la thérapie du lien et des mondes relationnels
For a presentation in images, the full episode — in French — is below.
How to cite this article
Besse, J. (2023, April 16). The therapy of the bond and relational worlds explained simply. Complexe Systémique. https://app.complexe-systemique.com/en_GB/articles/the-therapy-of-the-bond-and-relational-worlds-explained-simply
To go further
- Therapist confidences: Eric BardotThe founder of the TLMR retraces his clinical experience, anecdotes included.
- Attuning, co-creating, passing on: the human bond at the heart of therapy — Mimethys vlogThe Mimethys congress experienced from the inside, when the human bond becomes the heart of care.
- Altered states of consciousness: a key to understanding couple relationshipsWhen altered states of consciousness shed light on the life of couples.
- Narrative therapiesExternalisation, alternative stories: diving into one of the TLMR's major influences.
Related training courses
Online course
Master the art of narrative therapy: a unique journey with Charlie Crettenand
Immersive online course: discover the narrative approach with Charlie Crettenand. A unique audiovisual journey, lifetime access, exercises. In French.
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