The moment of revelation
Receiving the shock without turning the session into a courtroom; containing without numbing.
Extramarital affairs: what does the therapist do when the couple explodes?
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5 November 2026
Free live webinar
The crisis of the extramarital affair:
what does the systemic therapist do?
Finding your position in one of the most frequent clinical situations in couple therapy — and one of the least taught.
The session nobody wants, and every therapist knows
The revelation has just landed. Sometimes the day before the session, sometimes mid-session, right in front of you. One partner has just learned of an extramarital relationship. The other goes silent, justifies themselves, breaks down — or all three, in no particular order.
And you are sitting right there.
You are asked to decide, to judge, to say who is right. You are asked whether the couple will survive. Sometimes you are asked, in private, to keep a secret. The crisis of the extramarital affair puts the therapist exactly where they did not want to be: at the centre of the earthquake, summoned to take sides.
It is probably one of the most frequent clinical situations in couple therapy. It is also one of the least taught.
Programme
What we will work on together
This webinar offers a systemic reading of the crisis triggered by the extramarital affair — and above all, a way of positioning yourself as a therapist.
The therapist's position
How to hold genuine multipartiality when everything in the room pushes towards naming a culprit and a victim.
The question of secrecy
What to do when one partner confides what the other does not know? The traps of unintended alliance.
The wound and the system
Thinking of the affair as an event that speaks about the couple, without ever minimising the pain of the one who finds out. Holding both levels at once — that is where everything plays out.
The time of crisis
Why decisions made in a state of urgency are rarely decisions at all, and how to help the couple not to mistake the shockwave for the answer.
And afterwards?
What allows some couples to come through the ordeal, and what makes the crossing impossible for others.
Who is it for?
Who this webinar is for
Psychologists, psychotherapists, couple and family counsellors, mediators, social workers, and all helping professionals who face these situations.
Whether you see couples regularly or the question arises in your individual and family work, you will leave with concrete reference points to structure your position and your sessions.
No prior knowledge of the systemic approach is required. Curiosity is enough.
Your presenter
Julien Besse
Psychologist and systemic psychotherapist working with individuals, couples and families; clinical supervisor and trainer. He is vice-president of the Société Française de Thérapie Familiale (SFTF), a full member of EFTA, and the founder of the Complexe Systémique, a training institute dedicated to complexity and to the plurality of approaches in the helping professions.
Book your place
Live places are limited. Registration includes access to the replay.
Register for the webinarThursday 5 November 2026 · 6 pm (Paris) · Online
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