Vulnerabilities and protective factors of the conjugal bond in danger zones and refuge situations.
Couples in wartime, living in shelters or in zones of constant danger, face exceptional psychological, relational and material challenges.
War places immense pressure on human relationships, exacerbating vulnerabilities and, in some cases, activating mechanisms of protection and resilience. Understanding the dynamics of vulnerability and protection in these contexts is essential for psychologists, social workers and other practitioners working with these populations.
War introduces multiple stressors that weaken conjugal bonds. Several dimensions can be identified as specific vulnerability factors.
Life in a war environment often means repeated exposure to traumatic events: the loss of loved ones, bombardments, precarious conditions of survival. This stress can lead to post-traumatic stress symptoms (PTSD) in both partners, affecting their capacity to communicate and to respond to one another emotionally. PTSD often provokes irritability, insomnia and a loss of interest in life — symptoms that undermine the quality of the relationship.
The destruction of their environment and the loss of material goods and employment generate a sense of devaluation and powerlessness. This economic precariousness can quickly weaken couples, all the more so as the role of provider and protector is disrupted, often irreversibly.
In refugee contexts, the social support network is often extremely reduced. Families and friends may be scattered or lost, creating a social void in which the couple finds itself alone in facing adversity, amplifying emotional tension within the relationship.
In times of crisis, roles within the couple can become unbalanced. One partner may take on a greater share of the mental or physical load to protect the family, which can create tensions around power and dependence.
Each partner may react differently to trauma: some may close down emotionally while others seek comfort. These differences in coping styles can create misunderstandings and conflicts, making it difficult to build a shared response to the trauma.
Despite these vulnerabilities, some couples manage to develop protective factors that strengthen their relationship and allow them to come through periods of war with a certain resilience.
When a couple shares a common goal of protecting the family and surviving, this can strengthen their bond. Couples able to maintain reciprocal emotional support and to share their emotions in a secure way build a solid base in the face of hardship.
In refugee camps or in war situations, establishing routines, even symbolic ones, helps maintain a semblance of normality. Meals taken together, moments of intimacy, or even small gestures of affection can become anchor points that help couples through difficult moments.
Resilient couples often manage to maintain a space of exchange where each can express their fears and needs without judgement. Open communication helps avoid misunderstandings and fosters a sense of unity in the face of adversity. In crisis situations, being able to share what one is living through is essential to avoid emotional accumulation.
Cultivating a sense of hope in a different future can be extremely protective. Some couples develop projects, even symbolic ones, for the post-war period. Speaking about a shared future, envisaging plans for the children or even discussing future reconstruction helps maintain a positive perspective despite the present situation.
Interventions with couples living in war situations require a sensitive and adapted approach. Professionals must take into account the complexity of individual and conjugal traumas, without minimising the devastating effects of the surrounding context. It is also crucial to adopt a systemic approach that integrates not only the couple but also the community and socio-political context in which they live.
Teaching communication and stress-management strategies adapted to the couple reduces internal tension and increases resilience.
Support groups for refugee couples or group therapy sessions foster speaking and listening.
Explore and establish with the couple small rituals of reconnection, essential to maintaining the affective bond.
Help each partner understand that trauma is lived uniquely, while maintaining communication that respects those differences.
War is an extreme ordeal for couples. Yet certain protective factors make it possible to maintain a solid relationship despite the challenges.
Professional interventions must be nuanced, taking into account each partner’s specific vulnerabilities while seeking to strengthen solidarity and shared coping strategies.
Doumit, Y. (2024). Being a couple in wartime. Complexe Systémique. https://www.complexe-systemique.com
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