When it is already too late: limiting the damage

Some couples arrive in therapy when separation seems almost inevitable. The sessions then aim to:

• offer a legitimate last chance to try to save the relationship, while respecting each partner’s decisions;
• take stock of the damage and understand the reasons for the failure;
• help couples separate cleanly;
• avoid a bad separation, by creating a constructive story of falling out of love.

Restoring functionality: treating the crisis

Other couples come to therapy when a crisis arises and calls for an appropriate curative response. Four main families of crises can be distinguished.

First symptoms: preventing chronicisation

The first signs of dysfunction in a relationship deserve to be taken seriously:

• the appearance of tensions and an increase in arguments;
• a feeling of desynchronisation and emotional distance.

At this stage, the work consists in giving meaning to the disturbances and strengthening the couple’s immune system, notably by working on the founding myth of the relationship to tighten the bonds.

Primary prevention: keeping symptoms from appearing

Prevention is essential for maintaining a healthy relationship. It involves several concrete projects:

• establishing shared projects and common goals;
• developing effective communication styles;
• setting up clear and fair decision-making circuits;
• sharing household tasks and financial management;
• maintaining a fulfilling sexuality;
• anchoring change and establishing strategies to face future crises.

The therapist’s role

In each of these configurations, the therapist plays a key role — provided they hold it well.

Couple therapy is a precious resource for couples in difficulty. By understanding its different levels of intervention and applying appropriate strategies, it is possible to overcome crises and strengthen the relationship. These key points are developed in the video — in French — below.